Tuesday, November 9, 2010

“Inter-racial Dating And Black Men"



Black men have been the topic of numerous discussions lately regarding inter-racial dating. The unfortunate side is that the exposure has been showing them in a very negative light. The most played out news stories have centered on black icons. Their questionable actions have been used as a representation of every black male, and we are all being held accountable for their actions. And as much as I would hate to admit it or agree with the masses, I have too. So I, like so many other black women, have to ask, “Why do Black Men Prefer White Women?”

There are several reasons that come to mind when asked the question of why black men prefer white women when dating. The reasons are all a form of slavery both past and present. For one, white women have always and are still held on a pedestal. The media presents them as the mold for what beauty is and should be. When you look at any magazine on a newsstand you see white women with blonde hair and blue eyes that are very thin gracing every cover. When a black woman is considered special enough to grace the same covers, she has to have hair weaved down her back, with a very fair skin complexion or she is already successful. If you do see a darker black woman, she is too the very extreme as far as how dark she is. And only then is she considered to be exotic.

Through out history there have been many characteristics of black women that were deemed unsexy. The first example that comes to mind would be the color of our skin. Now tanning is a must among white women. Second would be the size of black women’s lips; and I was constantly teased in school for mine. Now getting Botox or Collagen is another must with white women. When black women wore their hair in braids it was deemed unprofessional. Bo Derrick decided to wear braids and even had the nerve to claim she was the first. Then it became a fad when it has always been a part of African culture. Last but not least we have the Gluteus maximus. Black women have always been know for being very shapely with full rear ends and it was always frowned upon. Now that you have women such as Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Brittney Spears and many others who have ample behinds; it has become not only socially acceptable, you now have women running to get booty implants.

Black guys nowadays "like" white women purely for the accessibilities they provide. Young black guys seventeen to twenty-four like white chicks because at this age, he's like a selfish child so he wants and expects the world to cater to him. White women are notoriously known for "catering" to their guys. And they give the black guys more love and attention than they do white guys. What black guys don't realize is that the white women are using them just as much; if for nothing more than a social status raise. To be with a white woman, which has always been considered the forbidden is now a status symbol. Black guys twenty-five and older do it to "show off" to the world that they have made something of themselves. It is a way to say we have overcome slavery and slap society in the face.

“It’s a comfort zone for us. White women are not as judgmental and they don’t kick their men while they are already down. When they get mad they don’t degrade or insult us like black women do. They don’t pressure or nag and are not so hard on us when we are not doing well. Not to mention we can get away with more. So why would I not choose to be where I can be comforted and not scorned like a child” says Paul S.!

“I was raised in a predominately white neighborhood and went to a school where I was one of five black students. So white women are whom I am most comfortable with. I don’t really have anything in common with black women,” says M. Givens! “I date white women because of the perks. It is much easier for me to be accepted at certain gatherings or venues when I show up with a white woman on my arm verses a black woman. For example, when I went to my company Christmas party the first year, I showed up with a black woman and we had a fair time but I was very uncomfortable and so was my date. We were never really made to feel like we were part of the party. The following year I showed up with a white woman and the reception was totally different. Top executives I had know for years shook my hand and I was made to feel like I was finally part of the company. I was later invited to go golfing and was even promoted a few months later. I had been with the company for three years and no one ever said more than hello to me unless it was related to business. After I showed up at the party with a white woman, I was now part of the team. I was invited to mingle and network with top executive and other affluent people. I would have never gotten that being with a black woman,” says L. Riley.

A black man dating white women is no longer a fad or a way to be rebellious against society. It has become a way of life for those wanting to fit in and be successful in corporate America. It is also a modern day form of control and slavery over the black man. In order to survive and to not become a statistic one must play the game. White is still superior to black. White women give that comfort that a black woman is and will never be able to give when it comes to overall acceptance.

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