So today is starting off kind of ruff.  For some reason I have been weeping at the eyes.  And I know I feel some sort of way but I am not sure what is causing it.  What I do know is that the more I try to get past what has happened.  There is always something happening that makes me start to really think.  As everyone is aware of you had the mass shooting that happened at Mandalay Bay in Vegas.  It made me think about how the robber could have blown my brains out and the bank would have been opened the next day for business like nothing ever happened.  I don't trust ANYONE who works with or who is affiliated with US Bank because I feel they are all working for the better of the company and not me.  I have never felt so violated in a long time.  And the more I try to get out the more I feel I am held back.  And even times I feel I am being pushed back.  Outside of me being employed I have had nothing but negative at this job and I just don't know how much more I can deal with.  Then to add to my feelings, I had a police officer follow me last night for over 7 miles.  He was tailgating me and I was on a unlit road in the middle of no where.  I was terrified and I kept thinking I was going to die on that road.  And the only reason I was on that road was because I wanted some fish from Ibby's.  Every tall, dirty, scruffy, thin, white man that I see is suspect to me and I always look to see if he is the ONE!  And the crazy part is everyone is making it seem as if I am the crazy one.  I still can't get past the fact that a job I worked so hard to get was given to Mayra who didn't even want it.  She has a little over a week left here and I can't stand it.  And it is sad but I highly doubt I will ever really speak to her ever again outside of just being polite and saying hello or bye. 

So I got to work today a little early as always.  But instead of coming in early like I usually do.  I decided to take my nurses advice and meditate.  So I did 6 minutes of meditation in my car listening to one of the relaxation homedics channels on Pandora.  I must admit that it was a little relaxing.  But I know I have a long way to go before I am able to shut my mind completely off.  I just kept thinking about how much everyone is for self and are snakes in the grass.  I still haven't really said much to Mayra because I really just can't trust her anymore.  I really just hope that I will find another place to be and ASAP. 

So this past week was a challenge.  The entire week I was the only manager on duty.  Mayra worked at Uptown and we borrowed Connor.  We had a potluck on Thursday.  That morning I came in early so that I could prepare my shipment.  And also so that I could get the cart to bring down all the food.  When I was bring the food down.  I got on the elevator and Paul was already on there.  He of course didn't realize it was me until we got to the lobby floor and the doors opened and I started to back the cart out.  It made me feel some type of way.  So at that moment I decided I was going to have a one on one with him.  Little did I know that Kurt and Debbie would show up.  And the sight of Kurt made me break down.  I cried for almost 45 minutes.  Deb had to calm me down.  I expressed to her why I was upset and I let her know that I had talked to Brandi.  They talked to me about some other opportunities.  They told me I could work at 75th as a Universal banker but for only 30 hrs.  They also told me I could work at another location for the same.  I was also informed that Mayra's position wouldn't be posted or filled.  Bullshit if you ask me.  

Today was an ok day.  I kind of had a racy heart on my way to work.  But it calmed down after a few hours.  I talked to the nurse today for about 45 minutes about my headaches and lack of sleep.  She is supposed to get back to me after she talks to the adjuster.  I also received a text from Teaon regarding the replacement of the blinds in the front room.  I hate when she sends me stuff at work because it always makes me feel some sort of way.  So I had to just ignore the message so that I could remain calm.  I got a call and an email from Heather who is the recruiter at Chase.  I am hoping when we talk she has something good for me.  I got an email from Schwallie regarding why I was passed over for that position that was given to Mayra.  We shall see how that plays out.  I also came home and worked on one of the earring organizers that was ordered.  I will post pictures once it is done.  That is about all that I have to report at this moment.  But I am sure I will have more tomorrow since that is when Mayra returns to work.  I really want to be cordial but I feel really betrayed and once you are on my bad side it is hard to be forgiven.  Which brings me to one last thing.  I noticed that Misy didn't invite me to Koby's bday party but she invited Teaon. I find that to be a little shady but whatever.  I have moves to make that don't include everyone else.  

The Robbery Aftermath

So on Friday the 15h of September I went to see my therapist.  I was urged to see one after I was robbed at work a week before my birthday.  The robbery happened at 16:28 on 8/11/17.   The weekend of my actual birthday Teaon decided to go back to Colorado and not be a part of my birthday.  And Khiya came thru like a champ like always.  But what really set the tone for the weekend was the fact that NoNo came and took me to a concert to see Jidenna at Cresent Ballroom on 8/17/17 which was a Thursday.  That Friday Khiya arranged for me to have a belly dance class at the Seatay Dance school.  That was a little after we had brunch at the Breakfast Club downtown.  The only people to show were NoNo, Katt and Honey for the belly dance class.  Then on that Saturday Khiya had me go to the movies for the day which I saw War for the Planet of the Apes.  I didn't know that she was at home getting ready for a surprise pool party.  But she had me come home when no one showed up.  I asked her to cancel and then a few people decided to show only 4 hours after the scheduled start time.  The only ones to show were Katt, Honey, Ludy and Misy.  And basically no one swam but they ate and left.  Needless to say that will never happen again.  So I have had all this negative energy going on and I am really at the end of my rope.  Fast forward to the 24th of August.  I had my first therapy appointment which went well.  The place is really comfortable and the doctor is really nice.  One the 25th of August I drove to L.A to be with my sister Kendal .  That weekend was so much fun and stress free.  We went to the Greek Theater to see Mary J. Blige in concert for the Strength of a Woman tour.  That was on 8/26/17.  On 8/27/17 I drove to Palm Springs to see my dad for his birthday.  And the day after I came back home.  And of course the drama was waiting for me.  I returned back to work on 9/5/17.  One thing I forgot to mention is that I was pushed into go to therapy after I decided to take an extra day of vacation after I found out that Trump would be a block away holding a rally.  So to get back on track I got back to work and I was trying to keep up with everything going on including the position that I applied for.  I went to the therapist like I said on the 15th and I was a total reck.  Because the position I had been trying to get since last year was given to none other than Mayra.  So to say I have been having nothing but negativity come my way would be an understatement.  Now my mother came to visit on 9/13/17 and she stayed until 9/17/17 and she got to see a glimpse of the shit I deal with on a day to day basis with Teaon.  I worked less than a half day on the 13th.  I called in on the 14th and the 15th I went in and I found out about Mayra.  I have been having massive headaches.  I can not sleep for shit and to add to that my daughter is too much.  Orion broke one of my blinds and of course I was pissed about it.  So when I stepped into the bathroom I can hear Teaon and my mom talking and my mom is trying to explain to Teaon how she raised 6 kids and how we didn't tear up shit and Teaon is making up excuses as always instead of taking responsibility for what happened.  Then she has the nerve to say that everyone babies me and that I want people to buy me stuff and that she can't always watch Orion and we don't help and that she can't just keep him in the room.  But she stays in her room on the phone while he runs about the house and is into everything.  No mater how much I try to bond and make things work.  I know it never will because she lives in some fantasy world with expectations that are very unrealistic for our situation.  I think she feels she is a Kardashian and she is entitled.  So here we are again at a point where we are not talking and of course I have to go back to work in the morning to the bullshit.  Please Jesus Fix It!

People!

Today was a very interesting day to say the least.  Work was good since I am now starting to learn how the systems work.  I finally got off at a decent time but then I got home and I instantly knew that something was wrong.  Come to find out Khiya broke it off with Darryl and things are pretty bad.  I'm not sure he will be able to recover from this or not.  Then to add to that drama we decide to go skating and no one was really there but then Shaneen showed up with Kabian and Angel.  Khiya had told me that Shaneen felt that she was using Kabian to make Darryl jealous on Sunday at the rink so now Kabian and Khiya have to keep their distance.  The thing that upsets me is that Shaneen will act as if everything is cool and then she will pull some shit like this.  It also pisses me off because it is an attack on Khiya's character and on my parenting.  Then we started to talk about the skate trip to Houston and now all of a sudden she is talking about going with Angel and Damicka.  At this point I am ready to say fuck all of them because they are really fickle.  I don't have time for the bullshit and extra drama.  I have enough of my own.  All I want to do is learn my job to the point that I am a beast at it and I want to move into my new house.  I have decided that I will move my own stuff and will not ask for anyones help and I don't want a party as we had discussed.  I think I want to just get past the skate parties in February and then break away from the pack and do my own thing.  Time will tell!

1/5/2014

Today I slept the entire day. I felt like shit but I did end up making it to the skating rink. All the girls acted funny and Shunda was pissed that me and Khiya didn't dress out.  We did however wear pink but it just wasn't the Kitty 4 Life Shirts like she wanted.  I keep telling her that I don't want to wear that logo anymore and that I only want to do Sisters Expressing Integrity.  Not the Sexi Kitty shit because of all the bullshit behind it.  I hope that one day we can get past it and move forward.  Until then we will always be at odds but time will tell.

7 January 2014

Not much happened today out of the norm.  I did get a call from Deanna (from Wells Fargo) who was giving me the scoop on everything and everyone.  She was telling me how everyone has left the branch and how none of the customers come in since I have left......That's what they ass get....She was telling me how she is trying to be a banker and wanted to go to Buckley and Iliff with Crystal but was advised against it.  I am tooooo glad that I was let go no matter how fucked up it was and how they did it.  I am a true believer that what goes around comes around and Mr. Derrick Fullers days are numbered.  For those who had my back, I wish them nothing but the best.............As for the others!  Well we know how that saying goes....Ahahahaha

Finally!

Finally got the email I have been waiting for all week......

I got my house and I will be moving in on February 1, 2014 but I take possession on January 15, 2014. 

Finally washed my hair!

New Moves!

Today was a pretty normal and boring day at work.  The only thing that happened of any importance was the fact that I finally go a call from the realtor letting me know that she finally decided to run my credit and that she wanted to know what date I wanted to move.  The funny thing is that she has been in Taiwan and our contact has been very sporadic at best.  Here it is a friday and now I am having to wait until next week to find out if I actually will get the home I am interested in.  To top it off, if I do get it I have to move in on the 15th...........that gives me a total of 9 days from Monday because the realtor office is not open on the weekends and Sandy is going to be on a 24 hour flight from her homeland........I also got a call from my eldest daughter expressing interest in moving to Arizona soon because she feels she is going to be homeless when her roommate leaves in or around June.  She is basically the last person in the family left in Colorado.  Only time will tell what she will really do but until then I have to focus on this move and my new job which is going to take some time in getting used too.  I feel like I have taken several steps back in time..........I went from being a character in the "Jetsons" to being a character in the "Flintstones"..........

Day 2

Today was a pretty chill day not too much to report. I did finally get a call from Remax in regards to that house I want to move into so hopefully after doing the background check today that will be approved and I will be moving on February 1 keep your fingers crossed

Reflection!!

So many things have transpired in the year 2013 going into 2014 that I would like to reflect on. Some of the most memorable moments of 2013 were me overcoming obstacles with my previous injuries of breaking not only my leg but my arm skating.  I vowed that would be an event that I would never allow to hold me down and going into 2014 I can say that I'm still a roller.  I also experienced death like none other in 2013 and lost several very valuable members of my immediate family to cancer. I would like to say rest in peace to my grandmother Ada Marie Bolden-Hunn, I would also like to say rest in peace to my uncle Earl Hunn and last but certainly not least I would like to say rest in peace to my auntie Marjorie Hunn.  2013 also marked the end of almost a 12 year run on what I started out as a career with Wells Fargo Bank. After many unhappy days I was initially let go and it was a scary time in my life because it came at a time that I was trying to move out of Colorado to Arizona for my daughter to start school. However Wells Fargo letting me go only forced me to be stronger and to step up and do what I knew I always was able to do and that was move forward into something bigger and better.  Now I am currently an assistant store manager with US Bank I finally landed that position after approximately five months of unemployment. I am very grateful for this opportunity and I look forward to everything that this position has in store for me in 2014. Another major move was the fact that I did leave Colorado and moved to Arizona with everything I owned with money in the bank no job and barely a place to live.  Only to only come and meet so many wonderful and supportive individuals.  My family was embraced and we joined a wonderful sisterhood with the sisters expressing integrity a.k.a. sexy kitties which my daughter is a part of. I have participated in several community service activities more than I've ever done in my 43 years of existence in Colorado. I conquered one of my fears and actually was a mascot on behalf of Colon Cancer alliance in remembrance of my grandmother on my fathers side Elizabeth Walker-Gooch, may she also rest in peace. There are so many things that I have accomplished going into 2014 and it can only get better hopefully along the way I will continue to strive to make myself better, reach new goals and accomplish some things I wanted with old goals.  I also want to build and forge long-lasting relationships. I also hope that this is the year that love finds me and I find love so that I do not have to continue to do this struggle or even all of these wonderful experiences on my own. I will attempt to blog everyday for the next 364 days as well as post pictures to show the milestones in my life as well as the struggles. In short I plan to do it up in 2014 and this will be my life at a glimpse so please enjoy!

This was the last photo taken in 2013 this is with my sisterhood God bless them all and I wish them nothing but success in the new year!

365 Days Into The Life of a Skater!

The life of a skater can consist on good days and bad days. I began skating as a child and I can remember skating so hard in my white skates with metal wheels that I would throw sparks....Man those were the good days. As I got older I started to go to the adult night skate session and I was in heaven. I went every Sunday night faithfully. As the gang epidemic started to flourish, I stopped skating for fear of being killed.

Here I am now at the tender age of 41 and I have been skating again for a little over a year. My daughter and her boyfriend both work for the skating rink here in Aurora, Co which is a wonderful thing for me and every other skaters dream. I go skating on an average of 5 day a week or a total of 25+ hours a week. I do all of this even though I work 12 hour days and I am also a college student. I have started to travel to other places to skate and I have even designed a t-shirt line with the name of the group that I created. I haven't been this happy in years and I have found one of my passions again.

On March 4, 2012, this would all change in the course of a few minutes and sideline me from my love of skating for an undetermined amount of time. In short I was doing a small routine and due to the floor of the rink not being monitored or cleaned of debris, I fell and broke my ankle in 3 places. The purpose of this post and the posts that are to follow, is to track my progress, give me forum to vent and also to share just how much this means to me.

First Anniversary

Today marks the first anniversary of my grandmothers passing.

Undy 5000 5K Colon Cancer Run June 25, 2011

So this was my second year doing the Undy 5000 here in Denver, Colorado. Last year I had a few supporters but this year I had none. I am not sure as to why know one wants to support such a good cause. And I am even more baffled as to why I didn't get any support from my family. This lady who's honor I have tried to carry on was only in my life for close to a year. Those who knew her and had been around her forever were know where to be found. I didn't even get any donations. When I started out on my run (which I almost didn't do), I felt very much alone as I looked at all the other teams and people who had a support system. As I started to run I was overcome by a feeling of being watched over. At that point I knew I wasn't alone, but I in fact had my grandmother there with me. That was all I truly needed besides god. The fact that no one was there and no one believes in the cause is still very heartbreaking. It will also keep me from asking anyone in the future. But it will not keep me from doing my run in honor of "My Old Lady" every year........................God willing

Cleo Parker Robinson Dance Ensemble (Dance Africa)

Jordan & Khiya's Prom

City of Brotherly Love

Wallin

Me in the Yellow Wallin and getting it in at Skate City Aurora, CO.