Friday, July 30, 2010

Random 1

Today was an ok day! I waas sore as heck from dancing last night. However it was well worth it. I went by myself for once and I actually had a wonderful time just being me. I almost broke down when they played one of my "OLD LADIES" favorite songs. But I was able to pull it together before anyone saw it. I really miss her but I am having a hard time coming to grips with losing her. I have not yelled, cried, snapped on anyone or anything. I have actually been really pleasant which it not the norm for me. "I AM SCARED" I know this is not normal. Exspecially since I can't get the images of her out of my mind. I dream about it all the time. I can't go to her house because it is just not the same. I used to walk in the house and when I bent the corner to go to her room she would always ask me "What took you so long" and then she would poke her lip out. Now when I go and bend the corner I see my dad and his wife in my grams bed..ugh!
I'm sure one day I will come to grips but I am not sure when or where I will be. But I know one thing and that is my grams passing has brought me some new friends. It has brought me closer to some old friends. And it also opened my eyes to some friends who claimed to be but actually were not. Thank you Old Lady! You told me you would always have my back and you wouldn't allow anyone to do me wrong!!!

"I LOVE YOU"

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